It’s official. It’s a done deal. After months of meticulous planning, scurried visits to suppliers, analysing varying shades of emerald green, the wedding – or should I say wedding(s) (both the cultural AND the English one) are done!! We had an absolute blast and I am now well and truly enjoying what is marital bliss; long may it continue (and the church said amen) 🙂
But it’s interesting because right next to ‘Did you cry?’ and ‘Can I see the pictures?!!’ The other questions I am frequented with are: ‘Are you keeping your maiden name?’ and ‘When will you start having kids?’
These are questions that my Mum’s generation (she is a Boomer) couldn’t possibly fathom; getting married is synonymous with changing your name and having children is what marriage is for – it’s a no brainer. But for the women of ‘Generation Y’ or the ‘Millennials’ as we are more commonly known these are very valid and plausible questions.
We are the generation born roughly between 1982 and 1994 and with that comes a breed of women who are highly ambitious, well educated, tenacious, most likely to go against the grain etc etc– the list goes on. We understand and appreciate the value of choice noting that not every woman loves weddings, has a desire to get married and/or have children. And there is nothing wrong with this, it’s a woman’s prerogative and it is what the generation before us have fought so hard to ensure that we maximise – choice.
One of my mentors decided to keep her maiden name because it is her identity; this is a widely held view by a number women. It also doesn’t help that her husband’s surname is ‘quite frankly rubbish’ (I love her wit) and she went on to explain that she had had worked hard to build a reputable and noteworthy career – changing her last name would be doing herself a disservice.
My line manager took an alternative approach – she opted for a double barrel name. This for me is not an option. With a surname that is 11 letters long, adding his name to mine just gets my knickers in a twist…
In any case, I have made my decision and I am definitely changing my last name.
Not because my cousin Emman told me in the nicest terms to ‘straighten that back and not lose my head just because I wrote one essay about women and war…’ but because I actually want to do it. It is the start of a new era for me, a symbolism of my commitment, our unification and solidarity.
And it has been met with a few disappointed sighs, even as early as this morning with a colleague stating that ‘she would never ever give up her identity.’ But for me changing my name does not mean I have to give up who I am and what I stand for. I am still Ola – passionate, ambitious, weird and wonderful…obsessed with stationery. And I am almost too certain that the Lover will help me to remain all of those very things despite changing my name; I know my identity will go unscathed…
Until the next time…xxx