Career, Womanhood

Self Depreciation – it’s rearing its ugly head…

I myself haven’t had a chance to watch it, but Girls which debuted in early 2012 with over 1.6 million viewers, is the hit series that has been hailed as the successor to *SATC. Detailing the lives of four young 20something women, it has been described as extremely ‘relatable’ and ‘realistic’ given that they paint a very true picture of the social and sexual mishaps that women often face in their twenties. Created by and starring Lena Dunham, at the tender age of 26, she has proven that indeed she is a force to be reckoned with having achieved so much success through the hit series. There is only one thing left to say really: the sky is the limit!

 So you can imagine my delight when I sat down to read the much anticipated interview with her (I get a kick out of seeing women excel). But my smile later turned into a frown as I continued to read on…the interviewer rightfully hailed her as a pioneer, a revolutionary figure, an icon for women everywhere etc etc but then she concluded her commentary by suggesting that she is definitely ‘our kind of girl’ as she is not one to ‘shy away from self-depreciation’. Why should she only be granted access into our no boys allowed club on the basis of her being over indulgent in self-depreciation?

 My horror didn’t stop there. I watched Hunger Games a while ago and I found it totally enthralling (a must-see if you haven’t already). How refreshing it was to see the traditional roles reversed and a woman go on to rescue the man. Now that’s my kind of Happy Ending 🙂 Jennifer Lawrence performed exceptionally well in the Hunger Games; she is totally captivating; absolutely beautiful and at 22 years old, again she is another woman flying the flag for young 20something women everywhere. However, the newest Jenny on the block as with Lena Dunham was applauded by another interviewer for the exact same reasons! (Cue high pitched scream). She was hailed as the ‘Queen of Self-Depreciation’ and ‘one of us’. What in the world is going on?!

 Am I missing something here?? Am I the only one that didn’t receive the memo that states that the only way to be socially accepted by other women is to submerge oneself into the dithering pool of self-depreciation?? When did it become another way to describe being down to earth??

 Don’t get me wrong, we all do it from time to time. I am the first person to complain that my fingers are stubby and fat, I have a big forehead bla bla bla but you shouldn’t be considered as ‘normal’ just because you choose to focus on your shortcomings. Nancy Dell’Ollio (Sven Eriksson, former England Manager’s ex-wife) for example, thinks (and blatantly states) that she is hot. Period (I anit mad at you boo! Do you!). And she refuses to make apologies for it! Hoorah! Should she be ousted out of the club just because she refuses to focus on her flaws? Nancy has stated that she is no stranger to criticism from other women just because of her ‘preferred way of thinking’. To be honest, I find it quite refreshing! Women are known to be over critical; some of us can’t even accept compliments yet alone be daringly brazen about our capabilities and beauty.

So I say, let’s focus on our positive attributes and not pull another woman down just because she chooses to do just that. Let us not get too over indulgent in the new wave of self-criticism in a bid to be socially accepted by other women. Let us lean more towards conversations laced with positivity and grace, congratulating those who choose to shine the light over the positive whilst embracing the negative.

Until the next time! Xxx

*Sex and The City


4 thoughts on “Self Depreciation – it’s rearing its ugly head…

  1. tobioredein says:

    I love this!!! I was thinking about doing something like this myself- I used to think that self-depreciation was a trait only British women have, but now I just think it really is a gender thing.

  2. Sabrina Glidden says:

    I am guilty of this myself, and it seems to come to me naturally. Some people’s personalities are more prone to doing it, I think. But I do agree that it is an instinct women have. And I do think it does put other women at ease. But at what personal price? I do think we pay a price for acceptance among other women. Fairly, or unfairly, it just seems to be that way. A good friend of mine has pointed out to me how I do this and she says, “It always pisses me off when you do that. Stop it!” This is a great post, I’m glad you addressed this issue. We do need to have conversations about it, and grow from it, and just maybe we’ll stop requiring it of one another. 🙂

    • Thanks for taking the time to read this Sabrina. I totally agree with everything you said and its great that you have a friend to point out when you are doing so that you actively stop it! I do think we need to have conversations about it; we have come along way as women and I think yes be humble but I think sometimes we take humility to the extreme which comes out in the form of constant self depreciation.

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