So I just realised that my last blog post was written at the start of April which has scared the life out of me as that was literally four weeks ago! I was in a very different place back then to say the least. Melancholy probably best describes my state of well-being at the time but thank heavens there is a God (no pun intended) who sits on high and looks down lowly at His people. He swooped in right on time and injected me with a surge of energy just when I needed it most. So I am back to my cheery, analytical, bubbly (I could go on forever) self. Welcome back to the real me! #TeamOlaAkin.
Right…now onto the crux of this piece which most certainly isn’t about my joys of overcoming the gloom that once marred my state of mind. On the contrary it is about the one thing that everyone is in search of but few people find; yep it’s that abstract noun that is used to describe such a concrete feeling, it is the thing we call love.
In the midst of the madness that was April, I witnessed something very beautiful that left me standing in awe; my gorgeous cousin Dupe got engaged and it was truly a spectacular proposal…
Everything was planned to the letter and rather than give a blow by blow account of how my soon-to-be-in-law conjured up such a romantic proposal, I wanted to place an emphasis on how refreshing it was to see a real man and by this I mean the following:
1) He stepped to my cousin correctly – He approached her using biblical principles as a basis. (I have sadly followed their journey from the start and may their love know no end! ***please excuse my excitement***) Rather than view her or refer to her in the fickle sense of a girlfriend, once he was certain of how he felt for her, he laid his cards out on the table for all to see. That’s right. No games, no tricks, no mixed messages, no statements that leave us women typically in bewilderment. He simply said: I-WANT-YOU-TO-BECOME-MY-WIFE #Thatisall. Nothing more nothing less.
2) He honoured her beliefs – my cousin is a godly woman and many a time during our journey of singledom, we discussed the importance of getting to a point where there would be absolutely no compromising on: 1) your faith or 2) the values that you hold to be truth. And I strongly believe that because she didn’t compromise with God, God stayed true to His end of the bargain and blessed her with a man that exceeded her expectations (Ephesians 3:20) and is truly the embodiment of her hearts desires. (Psalm 37:4) Everything that she thought she wanted wasn’t actually what she needed and God as awesome as He is ultimately interpreted her needs and met them above all she could ever ask or imagine.
3) He is a man of strength – a real man and I emphasise on real because a lot of men seem to think that their masculinity is defined based on their ability to acquire wealth, women and respect. A real man isn’t ashamed to say how he feels about a woman and my cousin’s fiancé is no exception. He stated plain and simply for all to hear that she was the only woman that he intended to spend the rest of eternity waking up to.
I could go on and on as my mind was literally in overdrive on that monumental day; I was ferociously taking mental notes with the intention of spilling the contents into some sort of coherent prose on my blog. I wanted to ensure that the majority of my readership (who of course are amazing, ambitious women) could read this and realise that there is hope yet…
So, on that note I make this plea: whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short and settle. And I can already hear the voices of disdain from the women who may be in their mid-thirties and have that biological clock ticking slightly louder as each year passes…but if you have waited all this time, then you might as well carry on waiting for someone that will be worth the wait. WAIT for a true man of God who is more than capable of helping you to actualise your goals and fulfil your purpose. WAIT I said for a man who really isn’t afraid to declare from the rooftops how he feels about you. Again, I say WAIT for the man that is willing to wear you as his crown…
I will end with this: my homie from way back when said something that has resonated in my mind ever since; it will most definitely be getting a prompt entry into my personal book of quotes… (Thanks Oyinkan ;-))
‘There is a good man waiting to do a fantastic job at being a great man for you so don’t let someone that isn’t up to task fill that space’
It could not be any truer. So to all you beautiful single ladies, in your pursuit of happiness and your journey to self-fulfilment, I hope you find the type of love that is delicately outlined in the Bible. The kind of love that you can celebrate continuously for a lifetime.Until the next time beautiful people…xxx